When I first moved to Helsinki two years ago I had heard that Finns can be quite introvert and that they don’t do “small talk.” Some say that unlike in countries such as England (surely the gold medallists in this event), Finns share a lot in common so they do not need to find common ground when they meet. Others argue that Finns are practical people, they don’t like to waste time on things that do not have direct rewards. A phrase like “nice day isn’t it?” will get a polite nod and smile from the average Finn but inside they are welling up with rage, “clearly it is a nice day idiot, what’s your point?”

Jokes aside, I have always been very wary of stereotypes and my own experience of Finns is that like my English counterparts they love a good old chinwag with a cuppa (except Finns all think we drink earl grey tea in England, ugh!). Finns are happy and cheerful people (really), with a dark sense of humour. They are content to answer questions and love it when people take an interest in Finland. This is emphasised by the fact that when some “big news” from Finland reaches the world news they spend just as much time reporting how the event is being portrayed around the world as they spend actually covering the story itself.

Nevertheless, you can sometimes “catch” a Finn living up to their stereotype and I would like to share two such incidents with you. The first is when I arrived at another English friend’s house in Helsinki with my Finnish girlfriend (well I am not here for the weather). She was carrying a number of shopping bags, and my English friend, with all the expertise of a small talk professional, observed the bags and causally asked “Oh, have you been shopping?” My girlfriend replied cheerfully, “No.” Silence. The two Brits where confused, this is not how the game works. In England, if the bags do not contain shopping, then this is the point where you launch into at least a 10 minute dialogue. Something about how you haven’t been shopping but the bags contain photo albums because you are taking them to aunty Mary’s, and uncle Joe can’t pick you up because of the road works on the A40, and you know how bad uncle Joe’s hip can be etc. The Finn of course was relaxed, “I have been asked a direct question and I gave a direct answer.”

Secondly, I was on a bus going to Espoo recently and I observed a “conversation” between a Finnish woman and a male native English speaker. During the 15 minute bus ride the Finn said “yes” about 368 times but nothing else. I couldn’t really hear the man very well, but I think he was describing his experiences in Helsinki so far and when he ran out of that material he seemed to be accounting for his whole life story from birth until this present moment. A couple of times he went silent and it almost seemed like the Finn was going to say something but the two seconds of silence had overwhelmed the man and he began again.

So, based on my own experiences here’s my top tips for approaching Finnish small talk, but don’t take my word for it. First of all, even though most Finns seem to speak English better than many of the native speakers you left behind at home, remember that it is a second language for them so they may need some time to think. Secondly, develop some sisu, Finns don’t flinch at silence and you should not either (incidentally, a good way to develop sisu is to cut a hole in the ice and jump in). Thirdly, don’t expect a Finn to interrupt you, so shut up once in a while. And finally, last but not least, Finns are a “bit different,” deal with it and enjoy it. Wouldn’t the world be a boring place if we all went around talking about the weather, road works, Uncle Joe’s hip and other similar subjects.