Will Sillitoe is an English teacher from UK who has lived and worked in Finland since 2007.

Since coming to Finland in 2007 I have become fascinated (if not a little obsessed) with the Finnish character. Generally, the Finns are a quiet, shy, law-abiding, consensus-orientated people. The mystery is why? Finns I have talked to have been unable to shed too much light on this and usually shrug in resignation.

But recently I have been taking some psychology lectures on human development and the mystery is becoming much clearer. It all comes down to Mother.

Finnish psychologists have long been aware that the style of Mothering here is different from many other countries. Finland is one of the few countries that produces an unusual personality type categorised as A1. It is a male personality type (women are more sociable) whereby the individual stays by himself, away from the group and rarely says anything at all! The other word that psychologists use to describe this is ‘avoidant’: the type of person who avoids looking at, speaking to or being near other people.

So what has this to do with Mother? Well, the Finnish Mothering style is very ordered and some might say that she tries to impose too much on her child and its environment. In other words, the child’s experience is mediated or organised wholly by the Mother. For example, if a child says he feels sad, his Mother might say, ‘I understand how you feel and I know why you feel this way but I will protect you, so don’t be sad!’ In other words, Mother will take a child’s feelings and interpret them for it and tell him how he should feel. The result of this style is that the child takes on board the Mother’s way of thinking about the world instead of developing a view based on his own way of seeing things. In short, Mother always knows best!

I need to say that I am not saying there is anything wrong with the Finnish character. Finns have a well run, organised and stable society that gives many foreigners – like me – a welcome respite from the corruption and social chaos in our home societies (in my case the, UK). But this does help explain why many Finns will wait to cross a road when no cars are coming or avoid speaking out of turn. They are demonstrating their Mother’s code by seeing things from her point of view more than from their own. (Indeed, to see things your way might be deemed selfish and rude.)

Maybe this also helps explain why alcohol can produce such great behavioural changes in the Finns too. After a few drinks they start to respond more easily to their own thoughts and wishes rather than the ones they have been brought up to hold. Even the withdrawn A1 man might come out of his shell (out of his Mother’s world and more into his own experience) after a few Finlandia vodkas.

Finally, we should not overlook Finnish history. When Finns in the countryside had a problem with a ‘neighbour from hell’ it was always easier to say nothing and move farther away into the forest than to stay close and fight it out. Maybe this course of action was on Mother’s recommendation.