A–Gonzaga (Oluchukwu Aloysius–Gonzaga Nwikwu), originally from Nigeria, is a Nordic-educated writer, poet and songwriter.

When the question, “What do you know about Finland?” is put forward by a Finnish visa officer at an overseas embassy, the would-be immigrant proffers a lot of quick answers – if for nothing at least than to score some points that would qualify him or her to enter the northern land of a thousand lakes. But when it comes to the issue of how many of those answers are well digested by the interviewee, that remains a different matter altogether.

It is easy to understand from an internet article about Finland, or from one of those magazines often available at the foreign mission offices, that the people who live there are mostly blue-eyed and blond-haired. Formula 1 drivers of Finnish origin, skiers and other winter-sports professionals are also something of an identity. But, how about the fundamental Finnish things? The deep–seated culture and characteristics that appear most significant to an immigrant only after his or her arrival in the country, but are never or barely heard of while outside the country’s 130,596 square miles of land and water?

Few magazines inform you prior to your arrival in Finland that you are not to yell at a cashier in a grocery shop for being too slow with handling things; this is one of those things you must get along with, or risk standing out like a red tie. Too bad for you if you are versed in a system as rowdy as Lagos’s or New York’s “survival of the fittest”, or even in the “Dublin manner”, where a shopkeeper could halt her service to have it out with just one of the many customers in the queue who thinks he can teach her how to do her dear job better. And it definitely doesn’t matter what the rest of the innocent bystanders feel about their time being wasted. At best, each of those with some level of a victimised look in their faces would receive a “sorry for that little issue” apology in a Dublin accent.

Whether at home or in a public place, orderliness rules in Finland. It is the norm, if you like. It often comes as a shocker to most immigrants when their excuses for being late or wrong with one thing or the other are rejected and due punishment awarded. Yes, no doubt, most of us who were born and raised in other countries before coming to Finland sometimes feel like blaming some of those tight situations that go against our wishes on rigidity from the other end – or even “being too Finnish”, as a former schoolmate of mine said of a Finnish train conductor. In all, there is no doubt that the strict enforcement of accuracy and neatness is among the key drivers of this somewhat admired society. And let it be known, also, that it can at times be overdone – thereby creating a casualty or two – and that’s when a Nigerian man of Igbo descent who lives in Helsinki with his Finnish wife and children would say, “Nnaa, aghotarom nkea! Onwelu onye di emefie emefie?” (“Man, I didn’t understand this one! Is anyone faultless?”).