Angelica Siew , writer and consultant, works in scientific research and is about to graduate from her doctoral degree. She has been in Helsinki for two and a half years.

People are puzzled why, when I am well versed in eight languages and dialects, I want to learn Finnish. To me, it is beyond a language. It is about language and people, their mentality, culture, behaviour and much more. The word Finnish itself represents the people – and everything about the people.

Is it true that Finns are inexpressive? Or is it due to the language restriction and a deficiency of vocabulary or feeling? Are Finns shy, lacking in interpersonal skills, or are they being too careful and guarded? Culture is not to blame. Decisions are made based on a free will and personal choice. Why do Finns choose to be inexpressive?

Bryan Adam’s hit single Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman? would probably not sell well here. Perhaps Finns like melancholy more. Occasionally, some rare Finnish man, probably sounding less-than-sober, will sing the sentimental song during a karaoke session. If not drunk, he may be from Eastern Finland, where people are believed to be more “humane”. Most men don’t seem to have the courage to follow their dream in a sober situation, settling down for an easy life does not get them anywhere – despite the failure of wooing the right woman…

Having been here for over two years, I finally have a Finnish best friend. I carry a little hope from the expression, “Once a Finn becomes your good friend, he is forever your good friend”. It took a long time and many misunderstandings, though. The two obstacles that stood in my way – not knowing Finnish and the inexpressiveness of people here – are however, felicitously, not applicable to my best friend. He is the funniest, warmest, cutest, honest, non-calculating and not-too-quiet of Finns. Knowing my attitude of “A Finn can be very kind and friendly but they can never be a good friend”, he has been delivering his inexpressive words in friendship in an ineffable, indescribable way.

To wipe away my tears during sleepless, homesick nights, my Finnish friend placed the Moomin characters Moomin and Snork Maiden beside my bed… I feel the tiniest, tiniest little bit of warmth leaking from his closed heart... Without him, my endeavour in Finland would not be as sunny. Life becomes beautiful because of my inexpressively unforgettable Finnish friend… I wouldn’t say that we can’t live without someone – we can live without anyone, just that it is really difficult sometimes…

I have found that Finns do not have many good friends, too, but some have one or two best friends. Is it the culture, again, or is a true friend is hard to find? As time passes, we accumulate more questions, or answers. It is, however, not within the boundaries set by my research questions.